Okay, okay, I know. I've been talking about feminism and sexism a lot on this blog lately, but bear with me. Musings 2.0 is not turning into a radical feminist blog, I promise, nor is it going to start bashing half of the binary gender spectrum because bashing whole genders is gross. I just feel the need to make specific things clear in regards to how I feel about certain topics in social justice, particularly because my views on it have changed some since Tumblr and because I've been seeing an awful lot of sexism towards both men and women recently in the news. Particularly, the rape issue on my college campus, and on all college campuses. I feel the need to talk about it openly, so that people understand what a real feminist is worried about. tl;dr, I am displaying what real feminists say and do, so that badfems are made an example of. And today, I want to point out that a real feminist talks openly about issues that affect everyone in society, and the double-standards that everyone faces in different ways - whereas a bad feminist talks only about issues that harm women and demonize men.
So, guys, let's openly talk about rape for a second. Specifically, let's openly talk about it in regards to sexism in society. Rape is currently, in layman's terms, defined as: "The penetration of any orifice by any object". Notice how that does not blame either men or women for raping or being raped, that is, it supposedly doesn't victim-shame. Everyone knows that supposedly, men rape and women are raped, but is that really the case here? Short answer, "No", long answer, "No, you complete and utter sexist jerk, how could you even think in terms of such vague absolutes?"
But why is the statement "men rape, women are raped" false? Well go ask any male person who has been raped or sexually assaulted how it felt, and how badly it scars them, and you'll quickly come to a realization: It scars them just as badly as a female victim, and oftentimes even scars them worse. You see, society tells men a lot of bullshit, just like it tells women a lot of bullshit: "Be a man", guys are told. Don't cry. Don't be a wimp. Don't show emotion, grow a pair, man up, be uber-masculine. If you like feminine interests, you're not a man. If you don't like aggressive and destructive things, you're not a man. If you don't dress masculine, you're not a man. Why is it okay for women to dress masculine, but not okay for men to dress feminine? Why do we allow women to be in touch with their masculine side, but men have to be masculine no matter what? Why do women want a variety of things for Christmas in the commercials, but men always want beer, power tools, and sports/grill stuff? Because society says this is what being a man is. Just like in society, being a woman is wearing girly stuff, being feminine, and being sexy/attractive.
Being raped is not manly. Being a victim is not manly, and society openly shames men who are victimized in this way. This directly contributes to a culture of victim-blaming, rape culture as it were. Society is openly accepting of female rape victims, but male rape victims are objects of ridicule at worst or at best do not exist. Look at it this way: Society's totally okay with jokes about a man being raped by a woman, or hell, another man... but not with jokes about a woman being raped. Women are sacrosanct, women are not to be harmed, because society still views women as weak and needing protection. Women should be able to do whatever they want, but men must still obey the same bullshit societal double-standards they always have.
Still not seeing it? Let me break this down for you, then. If you're a woman who was raped, everyone around you sympathizes, society sympathizes. "Look at this poor women who was victimized and taken advantage of by a big ugly man, look at how scarred and broken she is, we must help her! Lord knows she can't help herself! We must empower her!" As if she's not already trying to pick up the pieces and move on from her trauma, you're calling her weak as well. And not only that, you're assuming a man raped her, as if lesbians can't rape or take advantage of other lesbians. Now if you're a man, society laughs and says, "Wait, you were raped? Really? We don't believe you, in fact, YOU must have actually raped HER." Nobody believes a man who says he was raped, especially not by a woman. Remember, the current definition of rape says it's an act of penetration. All that despite the fact that women have fingers, women can use objects, and women can and often are just as big of disgusting pigs as men can be. Anything a man can do, ladies and gents, a woman can do as well, remember. This extends all the way down to sexual assault. A man who grabs a woman's ass is berated and her friends are sympathetic, whereas a woman who does the exact same to a man has the man's friends telling him how "lucky" he is to have been sexually assaulted, and how he should have taken advantage of her right back. The same thing exists with rape: men are told they're lucky to have been assaulted by an attractive woman (and she is always considered attractive), men are told not to complain, or worse, prove it if they're raped. Victim-blamed, in the same exact manner we don't do to women.
This double-standard of rape not being rape if it's a woman doing it to a man is sexism. Hands down. Just like the double-standard of non-masculine men not being considered men, just like the double-standard of all men being expected to be aggressive pricks, and just like the double-standard of all men being told they are rapists waiting to happen. So for anyone who says "you can't be sexist towards a man", way to be sexist towards men, you sexist pig, because yes, you can in fact be sexist towards men, and society does it every fucking day with double-standards like the ones I just pointed out.
But do badfems want to talk about this? Absolutely not. It goes against their basic belief system, the belief system that ironically is imposed upon them by society since birth. They're programmed to believe that women are in need of protection and cannot stand up for themselves, and that men are aggressors, hands down. This stems to their beliefs on abuse of any kind, their beliefs about sexism, and their beliefs in general about social justice. Badfems are not fighting for feminism. Badfems are fighting to make women dominant to men, and no gender should ever be dominant to any other gender. Badfems are fighting for a matriarchy, not gender equality.
I have a friend who is sadly, not a good feminist. She honestly believes you cannot be sexist towards a man, despite societal proof to the contrary. She actually told me, when I brought up this same topic of rape and sexism, that I shouldn't have brought it up. I believe her exact words were, "Don't you dare bring up rape". Wow. "Don't you dare" bring up a topic that shows how sexist society is towards men and women as a whole. "Don't you dare" discuss the double-standards men face. "Don't you dare" discuss a serious societal issue that impacts everyone of every gender, an issue that directly contributes to victim-blaming and oppression.
You heard the gal, folks. Don't you dare be a caring, non-victim-blaming human being that cares about the way sexism impacts everyone in society. Lord knows what would happen if gender equality became a thing.